When I was an active addict and alcoholic, I was always on the edge. If it wasn’t because of DTs/coming down, then it was because I was always so touchy about EVERYTHING. I did not know, or realize, until I was in recovery why, but this is it:
"The greatest enemies of us alcoholics are resentment, jealousy,envy, frustration, and fear." ~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, To Employers, pg. 145~
I always thought it was the other people around me that were the problem, but no, it was all me, I was driving myself to my own destruction.
"No words can tell of the loneliness and despair I found in thatbitter morass of self-pity. Quicksand stretched around me in alldirections. I had met my match. I had been overwhelmed. Alcoholwas my master." ~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Bill's Story, pg. 8~
Once I got ‘dry’ and was over that initial ’hump’, I was able to see the light and discover that I was no longer myself, but a creature driven by lusts (alcohol and drugs and other indecent, deplorable behaviors). I had to get back to being me, a new and improved me, to survive and live.
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I don't know if anyone can tell me HOW does the spouse of the alcholic get some support. My husband is in recovery and I want stand by his side, but I need some support as well. I need to learn how to help ME as well as be there for him too. Any suggestions?
Congratulations on your husband getting into recovery, is he in AA or something else? Also, it is GREAT that you stick by him and support him, that means alot for your relationship and his recovery. AA has a program for those who are related to the alcoholic, it is called AlAnon. It is built on the the same principles as AA and some groups even has a sponsor for you as well.
Does he go to a closed meeting? Does he have a sponsor? There is always a choice for you to go an open meeting as a couple, but that may make him hold back on some issues as many alcoholics have some pretty dark secrets they have to work out themselves and a spouse in the same room does not make it any easier.
Whatever happens, just be wary that it is not a sudden change to get back to normal, issues may resurface in the coming years even if he remains sober.
Please feel free to write back anytime you want, maybe he can visit this site also...
Take care and have a GREAT day!!!!
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