The 'fine line' of addiction...

"Some drinkers have excuses with which they are satisfied part of the time. But in their hearts they really do not know why they do it. Once this malady has a real hold, they are a baffled lot. There is the obsession that somehow, someday, they will beat the game. But they often suspect they are down for the count."~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, There Is A Solution, pg. 23~

Now that is the basis for almost all of us who have an addiction - we somehow thought we could stop any old time we wanted to. We thought we were always in control of the situation, we were still the Master of our life. HA! Alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, eating - it really doesn't matter the poison, once you crossed that 'fine line' somewhere back in your addiction career you relinquished mastery of your destiny and let the poison take over. What we didn't realize until it was all too late was that we were never in control no matter what we, or others said about it. That is the mystery of addiction - where was that fine line? When did I cross it? How could I not have known?
It is so much better to not worry where the placement of 'the line' is - just abstain and take the mystery out of the equation.

It really is -"One day at a time"

"It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition."
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 85~

I don't have to worry about yesterday as it is already gone and is now history. Tomorrow will happen whether I am still here or not when it gets here, but it isn't here yet. BUT, right now, I have to keep straight with God and in MY own head that no matter what - I will not use, drink, or take because that will NEVER solve any problem I can ever come up against.
Even last month when my much loved mother turned ill and passed away, I felt like 'doing' something to ease the pain and confusion, but didn't - didn't even come close. I am still here, clean and sober, knowing that she is looking at me from Heaven - proud of her 'recovered' son. I love you Mom!