This is what finally worked for me...

Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house."~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Working With Others, pg. 98~

After years of telling myself that I was indeed strong enough to handle this drinking and drugging problem myself, I did give up control and hope as alcohol and drugs ruled over me. If I could not do it myself, to stand up against my weaknesses, who could and would? Something so much bigger and more powerful than I had to do it, I needed a savior, a much higher power. God was there waiting to pick the pieces of my body and soul, put me back together, and provide me with the strength I needed to clean up my mess, make amends, and live a purer, happier life. My part of the deal is to pass it on, to help others, and love everyone regardless...

Keeping your 'house' clean from here on...

"If we are sorry for what we have done, and have the honest desire to let God take us to better things, we believe we will be forgiven and will have learned our lesson. If we are not sorry, and our conduct continues to harm others, we are quite sure to drink. We are not theorizing. These are facts out of our experience."~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, pg. 70~

At some point in time a decision must be made as to your commitment to letting go of the old ways you had been living and starting to live anew. Working a proven set of steps, like in AA and similar programs, WILL get you to that spot, but the steps must be done wholeheartedly and with conviction. Without working the steps, getting a sponsor, going to the meetings, and helping others you can become complacent and slip into a state of mind where you may think certain activities will be OK THIS ONE time. This kind of behavior is what cause 'clutter' to start building up in your house again. When it gets so cluttered that it seems hopeless that is when you slip, backslide, and relapse back to where you were before with thinking you will start cleaning your act up tomorrow or the next day, or...

No going back...

"We believe, and so suggested a few years ago, that the action of alcohol on these chronic alcoholics is a manifestation of an allergy;that the phenomenon of craving is limited to this class and never occurs in the average temperate drinker। These allergic types can never safely use alcohol in any form at all; and once having formed the habit and found they cannot break it, once having lost their self-confidence, their reliance upon things human, their problems pile upon them and become astonishingly difficult to solve।"~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Doctor's Opinion, pg. xxviii~

AA's Big Book has so many profound writings that can be applied to any addiction. During the last few years of my alcoholism there was no way I could stop drinking for any length of time once I got started, I couldn't wait for the opportunity to keep any kind of buzz going. I finally ended up planning my WHOLE day around drinking and drugging until I passed out into oblivion. I can't imagine getting myself back into that lifestyle again at any level. If I start again, I will surely die.

Get the proven resources that really help!

I use allot of quotes out of Alcoholics Anonymous' Big Book, and other publications in my posts. It is an extremely enlightening book to acquire, have, and keep (or get one on other addictions)from my specialty stores at Amazon.com. The links to Amazon.com are just to the left of this post and further down on the page. I encourage you to explore the different types of literature that is available AND find a support group to belong to.

Things were different, was it everyone else or me?

When I was an active addict and alcoholic, I was always on the edge. If it wasn’t because of DTs/coming down, then it was because I was always so touchy about EVERYTHING. I did not know, or realize, until I was in recovery why, but this is it:
"The greatest enemies of us alcoholics are resentment, jealousy,envy, frustration, and fear." ~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, To Employers, pg. 145~

I always thought it was the other people around me that were the problem, but no, it was all me, I was driving myself to my own destruction.
"No words can tell of the loneliness and despair I found in thatbitter morass of self-pity. Quicksand stretched around me in alldirections. I had met my match. I had been overwhelmed. Alcoholwas my master." ~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Bill's Story, pg. 8~

Once I got ‘dry’ and was over that initial ’hump’, I was able to see the light and discover that I was no longer myself, but a creature driven by lusts (alcohol and drugs and other indecent, deplorable behaviors). I had to get back to being me, a new and improved me, to survive and live.